Two words evoke a wave of nostalgia among chronically online sports fans: “Dearest mother.” This iconic phrase, hallowed in the annals of sports parody, originates from the Twitter account @CaptAndrewLuck, which ran from 2015 to 2019. The account was crafted in the whimsical style of letters penned by Union soldiers during the Civil War era. Capt. Andrew Luck provided followers with humorous updates about his imagined battles and quirky care packages filled with peculiar items, such as dried mouse ankles and sugared beaver tail.
During the timeframe of this social media phenomenon, the real Andrew Luck was making headlines as the starting quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts. Luck, whose own journey in the NFL included winning the Comeback Player of the Year award in 2018, seemed to be living a parallel life to his online alter ego. However, on August 24, 2019, Andrew Luck announced his retirement from football, a moment that rippled through the fanbase and seemingly marked the end of @CaptAndrewLuck. The farewell tweet proclaimed, “I have made the decision to holster my sidearm permanently.”
Yet, while that account might have stepped back, the phrase “Dearest mother” became forever ingrained in online sports culture. The account’s author, who shared the experience with ESPN, reflected on the bittersweet nature of its closure. “It was sad, but I felt like there was closure,” they said. “There was no point really to keep it going.”
Fast forward to November 2024, and Luck made a triumphant return to the football world as the new general manager for the Stanford Cardinal. With this promotion, the former quarterback turned from captain to general, reigniting interest in the beloved parody account. Excitement bubbled on social media, with fans urging the account owner to resurrect the character at once.
“When the news came, that’s how I found out,” stated the anonymous account owner, who prefers to be identified only as a West Coast journalist. “My phone was going crazy with fans saying, ‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, you can bring it back now.’” Motivated by the encouragement, the account immediately reactivated, welcoming back nearly 500,000 eager followers.
Dearest mother –
The battleground has called for my glorious return. I’m thrilled to say, I shall heed that call.I have reenlisted.
While my sidearm is permanently holstered – I shall help train other young men to be great soldiers. Please send care packages of squirrel oil…
— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) November 30, 2024
The account’s biography originally read, “Soldier. Colt. Simple man.” It has since been updated to include the title “Cardinal tactician” in recognition of Luck’s new role, but the humor and charm of Capt. Luck remain unchanged. The inception of the page came from the author’s fascination with memes that depicted NFL players in various historical contexts, leading them to draft the initial concept in jest.
“I thought it was hilarious, and I’ve always loved Ken Burns’ Civil War series,” the creator shared. What began as playful texts to friends soon blossomed into a full-fledged social media account. The success skyrocketed, with followers surpassing 43,000 by December 2016, aided in part by endorsements from actors and sports figures alike, including actor Rob Lowe and former Colts punter Pat McAfee.
What made Capt. Luck stand apart was the unique perspective he offered, blending sports commentary with historical flair. The creator, leveraging a minor in history, carefully crafted the character’s tone, immersing followers in humor and absurdity. From spiced raccoon calves to floured hedgehog thighs, care package items ranged from the quirky to the absurd, with squirrel oil becoming a comedic staple.
However, when Andrew Luck unexpectedly retired, the account fell mostly silent, save for sporadic posts that coincided with news relating to the quarterback. Over the years, numerous offers arrived for the page’s ownership, but the author resisted, valuing the authenticity of the account too highly to relinquish it.
Even years after his retirement, Luck remained a topic of conversation. In May 2023, ESPN reported that the Washington Commanders had reached out to him about a possible comeback, prompting Colts owner Jim Irsay to respond on social media, citing a possible violation of league tampering laws. In light of these developments, Capt. Luck humorously assured followers that his beard had been “tapered — but not tampered,” while committing to continue “reading to the birds.”
The interaction between Luck and his online counterpart remained a mystery, as the two have yet to meet. Luck has, however, publicly expressed his admiration for the parody account, noting, “This person has a much better sense of humor than I could ever have. I think it’s hilarious.”
In September 2023, Luck took his love for the character a step further when he appeared dressed as a Union captain on a postgame set after a “Thursday Night Football” game. The moment quickly went viral, further solidifying the bond between the real Luck and the whimsical persona.
Dearest mother –
I hope my appearance on the magical, moving picture box filled you with joy. As you could see, my resolve has never been more robust. Squirrel oil and your peppered chipmunk feet have kept me sturdy. Life is splendid. Give the cows my best. I love you.
– Andrew https://t.co/8s8VW0xEBD— Capt. Andrew Luck (@CaptAndrewLuck) September 22, 2023
The email response was overwhelming, and fans clamored for the account’s revival. “It went bananas. Like bananas, crazy insane, and it was so cool to see people telling me, ‘C’mon, bring it back,’” said the creator. With Stanford’s football season approaching and Luck firmly planted in his role, they devised a plan to rejuvenate the account while preserving the unique tone that made it beloved.
The return involves a structured cadence that mirrors Luck’s time as a quarterback with the Colts. Posts are set to focus on upcoming “battles” on Mondays, share care package updates on Wednesdays, and reflect on game outcomes afterwards. Recently, Capt. Luck humorously described his arrival in “the land of Ut-ahhh” as preparations commenced for a match against the BYU Cougars.
With each quirkily penned letter, the spirit and humor of Capt. Andrew Luck endure, resonating with fans who appreciate the blend of football and historical parody. “I just want to keep it fun,” the creator emphasized, a sentiment that reflects the joy of both the account and its real-life counterpart. “And every time I’ve seen him say that he really enjoys it, I get a kick out of it. It’s like the ultimate compliment.”